Get Rid of the Drama Triangle, Stop Reacting

The Drama Triangle represents three unhealthy roles – victim, persecutor, and rescuer – that we often unconsciously play when we interact with each other from the Reactor mindset. It was originally developed by Stephen Karpman, a psychotherapist, in the late 1960s. Victims feel like other people or situations are acting on them and they are powerless to do anything about it. Sometimes it feels like being attacked, and sometimes it is just a hardship. Victims might feel mistreated or discounted, and maybe out of control. In general, victims have a “woe is me” attitude.

Persecutors are the perceived cause of the victim’s problems. They often have bad tempers, are sarcastic, defensive, or demeaning. They avoid personal responsibility by focusing on the weaknesses and problems of others. Persecutors often feel a sense of power over others and fear a loss of control.

Rescuers feel a sincere desire to help victims, but subconsciously they reinforce the victim by suggesting that victims cannot take care of things by themselves.

Take a moment and consider your professional and personal relationships. Are you playing the victim, persecutor, or rescuer? If so, break the cycle by working from the Creator mindset.

A Creator Mindset

People that have a creator’s mind set believe that they are in control of their response in every situation. They believe that every life has great purpose and meaning. They believe they have an important mission to fulfill. They believe that through hard work everyone can learn and develop the skills and talents they need to achieve their mission. They believe that everyone has remarkable abilities. They believe there are plenty of opportunities for everyone and that they not only can but must make a difference.

Victor Frankl had a creator’s mindset, Abraham Lincoln had one too. Frankl, Lincoln, and people like you and me make the choice every day to create instead of react.

What paths would we begin to see towards achieving the extraordinary if in the difficult situations of our lives we consistently chose to create instead of react?

Best wishes on the journey!